December 2001 Call to Action News

Coffey: Try "good enough" family prayer

For people looking to nurture prayer and sacrament in their "domestic church," Kathy Coffey offers a wealth of personal experience. The Denver, Colo., mother of four demonstrated simple ways to facilitate fullness in family ritual. From the sweet aroma of oil of orange, to the splash of cool water, to the communal preparation of a meal, Coffey encouraged an intentional approach to family faith life.

"We are often being prayerful without noticing. Taking turns holding the baby in the middle of the night is a prayer. How we hold and diaper a child is setting the whole groundwork for faith," said Coffey, whose latest book is "From Birth, Baptism and Beyond." "The way we know love is by concrete actions. The little things going on inside our homes are vital, no matter how exhausted we feel." And if it's worth doing, than it's worth doing badly, rather than not at all, she insisted. Even if it's imperfect, and especially if it's messy, Coffey believes it is well worth the effort.

"Let the children play with water, let them feel it and splash it. Begin at a natural level. Then take it another step and bless them with it. Have them bless you. Talk about baptism. Light a candle and discuss darkness and light. God is the light in our darkness."

She asserts that our homes are the primary places for education. "We are being sacramental without even crossing the threshold of a church," she said. "The kitchen has huge potential for living our faith. It is the center of our home where conversation and meals take place. And the car is becoming the chapel. The church institution has a ten percent influence on our children, while the family has 90 percent."

In particular Coffey encouraged the use of the blessing cup at family meals. "You're saying a lot without saying a word; in the sharing of the cup, in the gathering around the table. Then, ask the question, 'Where were you happiest today and where were you most sad?' Where you were happy is where you were closest to God and vice versa. God speaks to us through both ends of the spectrum."