Like other gay-lesbian concerns, same-sex marriage sounds different when told in personal terms. CTAers in two sessions heard Marianne Duddy and her life partner Becky Burke tell their personal story of their wedding at Dignity/Boston in 1998, and in 2000, their trip to Vermont to make their marriage a “civil union” under the new state law.
Along with Bob Pileggi, staff of the Marriage Project at Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, the couple described what's good and what's still lacking in their legal situation. Their Vermont civil union is supposed to afford all the rights of married couples except the word “married.” But other states and the federal government give their legal status very uneven treatment on myriad fronts: social security and Medicare, joint income tax, adoption, bereavement and more. “We couldn't get both our names on our mortgage, or the deed to our house,” said Marianne. “Becky can't put me on her employer's health insurance. If we want to adopt a child overseas, not one country will allow it unless we lie, and say I am a single parent.”
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| Marianne Duddy and Becky Burke visit with Linda Pieczynski of the CTA board. |
The justice issue of same-sex marriage isn't just the right to marry, argued the panel. It is the right to choose. But the Catholic bishops in many states are opposing same sex marriage legislation. California's bishops even spent over $300,000 funding the opposition. One pastoral exception is Nevada, where the bishops advise Catholics to vote their own conscience.
Duddy is executive director of Dignity/USA, the only Catholic organization in the Same-sex Marriage Coalition nationally. Dignity/USA also has resources, and maintains a registry, for same-sex unions. On Friday she and Ron Karstetter were co-leaders for Dignity’s day of reflection on the spirituality of gay and lesbian people.
(Ed. note: Two weeks after the conference, the Vatican issued a 76-page document railing against legislative moves to recognize same-sex unions.)