Dignity USA, the largest organization of gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans-gendered Catholics, was represented at CTA by its president, Bob Miailovich, and immediate past president, Marianne Duddy. In a joint focus session, both addressed the question, "What do we want?"

"We don't have an Ôagenda,'" said Miailovich. "There is no single unified list of desires among us. The word Ôagenda' is usually attributed to us by those who oppose us." Conservative Christians lead the resistance. And Congress has not been a friend to gay and lesbian people, he said. Rather than pushing an agenda, the gay/lesbian community is looking for legal protections. They want to be able rent or buy property where they choose, to retain custody of their children, to be eligible, singly or as couples, to adopt children. Same-sex partnerships need the same legal recognition as heterosexual couples. And they want recognition that a committed partner takes precedence in making health care decisions for his or her incapacitated partner.

Many within the secular gay/lesbian movement count the Catholic Church among their greatest foes -- so Catholic gays and lesbians are pressed to justify why they belong in the movement. The Vatican says gay orientation is intrinsically disordered, that what gays do is sinful. Though the Vatican deplores violence, it says gays should not be surprised if violence is used against them when they seek rights to which they are not entitled. Miailovich said Catholic gays and lesbians need to publicize that the U.S. Bishops in Always Our Children declare, "In you God's love is revealed." They also need to advertise Catholic teaching on social justice, which can and should be invoked for many of the protections homosexual people are looking for. "While many are still in the closet as far as our faith goes," said Miailovich, "many of us are ready to spread the good news that God loves us not in spite of our sexual orientation, but because of it."

Marianne Duddy said homosexual men and women experience the Church very differently. Her childhood participation in Sunday liturgy was in a soundproof cry room with only women and children present. It was a nourishing, fun-filled experience. "The cry room became the metaphor for how I experience church as a woman and a lesbian," she explained. "At its best, the church offers a place of easy belonging, intimacy, a place of purpose as well as grace and challenge." She contended that often our delight in these things as women is deemed unimportant or misguided. So women feel unconnected, irrelevant, segregated and excluded.

Duddy said her wants are much the same as everyone else's. Homosexuals want their lives and loves validated in their entirety, including sacramental validation. They want the church to be a prophetic teacher modeling a preference for the poor, true to the preaching of justice, and courageous in Christian witness. For women these longings have a different texture and urgency. She says, "We get dichotomous messages from the powers that be: ÔMaybe we will acknowledge that you were born in the image of God, but you don't truly image Jesus. You can't'." Growing up with no female images in the sacred space of sanctuary and altar table, lesbians experience a double disconnect from the Church. The Church presents women with only two options for their lives, marriage or the convent. "Presented with options that don't work for us," explained Duddy, "we feel the impact of a church dominated by people who know nothing about us and who express no interest in learning."