September 2000 Call to Action News

Smile!

Ten reasons why men should not be ordained

1. Men are too emotional. Their conduct at sporting events proves this.

2. A man's place is in the military.

3. Some men are so handsome, they will distract women worshipers.

4. Male physiology indicates that men are more suited to tasks like chopping down trees, unearthing rocks, and wrestling with wild animals. It would be "unnatural" for men to do other forms of work.

5. In the New Testament, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. His poor judgment and lack of faith represent the character of his gender. This justifies the subordinate position all men should take in matters of spiritual formation.

6. Men are overly prone to violence. "Real" men prefer to settle disputes with immature displays of prowess and domination. Thus they make poor role models and are dangerously unstable leaders.

7. An ordained minister nurtures the congregation. Nurturing is not a traditional male role. Through history, women have proven more skilled at nurturing and more naturally attracted to it. This makes women the obvious choice for ordination.

8. In Genesis, man was created before woman, obviously as a prototype. Thus men represent an experiment. Women represent the crowning achievement of creation, a more perfect image of God's intent for humanity.

9. For men who have children, the duties of the church may distract them from their responsibilities as fathers.

10. Men can find meaningful church roles without being ordained. They can sweep sidewalks, repair the roof, and maybe even lead portions of worship on Father's Day. Embracing such traditional roles, they can still be important in the life of the church.

Anonymous, from the Internet.