June 2001 Call to Action News

From the mouths of babes …

These were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected.

Old Testament

The Jews were a proud people. All through history they had trouble with unfriendly Genitals.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.

The sixth commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins.

Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

New Testament

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

Jesus gave us the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

Most religions teach us to have only one spouse. This is called monotony.