The Gay Lifestyle?
by Bob McClory
When I gave a presentation at the national convention of Dignity USA in Philadelphia
in July, my first words to the group were, “Why are you here? Why would
you belong to an organization that calls itself Catholic, yet rejects the church’s
very explicit and authentic teaching on homosexuality?” Immediately, about
20 hands went up.
“Because of Vatican II this is my church,” said one man, “and I won’t let anyone allow me not to see God in my life.”
“‘Authentic’ is one of the most abused words today,” said another. “It would be better to call it ‘current teaching.’”
The comments continued in this vein for some time, many stressing that church teaching must be regularly tested against the experience of its living members – and sometimes, as has occurred in the past, the teaching has to be changed. I was impressed by these forthright answers, even more impressed by the people I heard or talked with during two days at the conference. Here were some 400 men and women (mostly men) from across the country who are fiercely committed to the Catholic Church, who have spiritual lives, who think and study and struggle with their decisions. Many were or had been church employees or church ministers, even priests or nuns.
Many, if not most, are in committed, faithful relationships with a partner, some for 25 years or more, some raising children. They are, from what I observed, conscientious people, knowledgeable about church politics and theology – and determined not to be bitter or angry, only to press for change; for them change is a matter of justice.
As I looked around the crowd at a plenary session, I had to ask myself: Is this the “gay lifestyle” we’re always being warned about, the lifestyle that is regularly condemned by church authorities and stereotyped in society? Are these the promiscuous, sexually obsessed, perpetually carousing hedonists who are “undermining” the sacrament of marriage and doing “violence” to the children they dare to parent? Or are they ordinary people struggling to live out what they perceive as their God-given orientation in a church that has all the answers but no questions? How, I wondered, can pope and bishops be so sure of themselves in the presence of new insights from Biblical studies, genetic discoveries and psychological research – insights that challenge centuries-old assumptions?
At the very least, it seemed to me that the obvious sincerity of so many Catholic lives and the record of fidelity to the gospel mandate deserves thoughtful study and reconsideration by church leaders, especially those who are themselves gay. Though Dignity is a forbidden organization not allowed on church property, the larger church is enriched by its existence and by the refusal of its members to just go away.
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